I had funky hair, and an edgy style. I was obnoxiously loud to overcompensate for my insecurity in being an introvert. I spoke with a fast and strange accent. I was set in my ways, and quite contrarian.
She wore knee socks with a white lab coat and made it her outfit. She is the only person I have ever known to be able to pull off pink eyeshadow. She rocked the air guitar while worshipping Jesus.
I had to be her friend.
She asked if the seats were taken. Needing my personal space I hesitated but didn't lie. She sat down, and her husband slipped in beside her. We introduced ourselves, and class began.
Days went on, and this stranger continued to sit by me. I enjoyed her wit and ability to carry out small talk. Time passed and I enjoyed her honesty and transparency.
We invested.
She wrote and she listened. We connected over coffee and journal entries. Our lives collided, and my heart was opened. I learned to trust a woman though I never thought I would.
She loved. I ran.
My friend cared enough to confront me. I backed away. Fled from accountability - her Love.
Set aside.
Years leapt by, and so much changed. Life, marriage, kids, heartache, joys, new jobs. The memories deceiving, as if my heart reminds me that she should have been there.
Here we are.
A social network reunites friends, and we sense what we have missed. Exchanged messages full of hopeful anticipation of what will come. I'm sorry for what we lost, but excited for what we'll gain. I've missed you.
2 comments:
Nicole
She gave me a sense of confidence I had always wanted. Even when we moved back to michigan, thinking i'd lost my friendship with her, i continued to say "ah geez," just to keep her memory around.
She believed in me, trusted me, helped me to see past the hurt and fears I'd been carrying.
Nothing was harder than the last time I called her in Dallas... I wondered for a long time after if I had made the wrong choice.
Her picture stayed close- the friendship we'd ingited, and the love i felt for her stayed closer. I learned what pits and pieces i could, until last year... when you found me...
Now, both grown, both changed, but still girls and daughters at heart, i am in one the hardest places i've ever been, and i miss you and need your honesty and truth more than ever.
she gave me the confidence to trust myself, and to trust others, and in the process, i found a woman i wasn't afraid to trust in return.
correction: "bits"
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