Happy 1st Birthday, Selah Raelle!
There's so much to write, and such little time to sit down and do so. My mind spins until I remember to breathe. "Rejoice" rings in my ears followed by a smile sweeping across my face. A gracious God stills my heart and the clock still ticks.
Yesterday was a busy day. Not busy chaotic, but rather big "to-do list" crazy. Before 11 a.m. I had completed my list of chores, put dinner in the crockpot, fed, bathed, and dressed the kids, and mowed the lawn. By 3 p.m. three loads of laundry were done, banana bread was baked, circle time with my lovelies was completed, and the boys and I made cookie dough.
After the jam-packed day, imagine the sweet surprise that a last minute invite to get together with friends for dinner brought to my afternoon! The boys ran through the courtyard, Selah roamed in a new walker, and Brandon and I sat back with some amazing people realizing that these are the moments to treasure.
(Isn't Lindey's new iPhone app awesome? It takes four pictures back-to-back and puts them in a collage. Very cool.)There are days when I wonder what we got ourselves into, and question if there will be relief. I distract myself from reality by dreaming of far off homes with acreage, streaming water, and livestock. Or a home in the Pacific Northwest where the mountains meet the water, and the outdoor adventures are endless. Some days I imagine a bungalow in Chicago within walking distance, or a train ride, of great food and entertainment. Comfort is found in the places unknown until I realize what I'm faced with. Discontentment.
Precious time is wasted imagining the job transfers, new homes, and awaited change. My heart is longing for the contentment that only the Creator can give. My life is filled with moments, things, and people to be thankful for. And I am.
I am thankful for a loving and hardworking husband. For little superheros running through my house with "hand-gloves" on. My heart flutters to hear the early morning babbles coming from a magenta crib. While my hands clean our little home, I am beyond satisfied that there is less to clean leaving more time for play. I am humbled to have friends that take time to get to know me, and still love me once they see my flaws. More than anything I'm in awe of a gracious God that is refining me.
Our family was walking with a family friend the other day, and while I don't remember the context in which it was said, this friend said something that has given me much to think about. He said something along the lines of, "Follow your heart - yeah I'll follow my sinful heart." At the time I joked that it was the revelation of the day, but the day has turned into several days.
How many times have I heard "follow your heart" or "what do you feel in your gut?" If I truly believe that Scripture is infallible then I know that I cannot trust in my heart or my own plans to lead me. The reality of this makes me run hard and fast to Jesus, because I know apart from Him there is no goodness.
Jeremiah 17:9-10: "The human mind is more deceitful than anything else. It is incurably bad. Who can understand it? I, the Lord, probe into people’s minds. I examine people’s hearts. And I deal with each person according to how he has behaved. I give them what they deserve based on what they have done."
Ecclesiastes 9:3: "This is the unfortunate thing about everything that happens on earth: the same fate awaits everyone; The hearts of all people are full of evil, and there is madness in their hearts during their lives—then they die."
Matthew 15: 18-20: "But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these things defile a person. For out of the heart come evil ideas, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are the things that defile a person; it is not eating with unwashed hands that defiles a person.”
There is hope:
Psalm 25:8: "Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways."
Nahum 1:7: "The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows those who take refuge in Him."
Zechariah 9:17 For how great is his goodness, and how great his beauty! Grain shall make the young men flourish, and new wine the young women."
Exodus 34:6: "And the LORD passed by before him, and proclaimed, The LORD, The LORD God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth"
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