Scattered
Itinerant

The last couple of blogs have sparked some phone calls and emails wondering if Brandon and I are okay. We're at a strange impasse in our marriage. Life with 3 kids is hard. Being a Godly wife is a challenge. As a husband, I'm sure leading a family is difficult. It seems as though we're growing up, and putting our childish ways behind us. After five years of marriage I guess it's about time.

The Lord has been revealing a lot to me over the last two months, and I'm starting to feel the walls around my heart crumble. For years there has been a deep rooted desire to submit to my husband; however, the idea of "submitting" made the feminist in me rear it's head and proclaim my equality. It has not been through reading Scripture that my heart has been softened, or truthfully even through prayer. Our pastor has not preached a remarkable sermon on "being a Godly wife" lately; yet, I find myself desiring to serve my husband, make his home one he wants to come home to, and to encourage and acknowledge his hard work.

I could give credit to Brandon for the change I have seen in him. He has been asking for forgiveness often, understanding of my hard days and bad attitudes, and he has been helping around the house plenty. The growth I have seen in my husband has been encouraging to me, but I know that's not the sole reason for the shift our marriage.

It has been the Lord wooing my heart, healing my wounds, and changing my thoughts. I can't pin down specific times or events, but there has been this deep understanding of who God is in my life. My emotions have been softened, and my eyes have been opened when I have stopped to think about my own depravity and short-comings. Our home is changing, and Brandon and I are both learning what it is to love one another in Christ.

To my knowledge, we have not done anything to bring about this change. We have read books and been to counselors in the past, and none have had the results of what is happening now. There have been painful moments, and hours of mourning, but the joy that follows is unfathomable.

If you know us well you know this is truly a God thing. Please stand with us in prayer that this will be more than a season. Pray that God will continue this work in our hearts, and that we will receive the lessons He has for us. We also pray that our friends and family have this experience.

Thanks for the calls and emails. We love our brothers and sisters in Christ that are willing to go the distance with us.