I read Sacred Marriage over a year ago, but have recently started to skim it again. The book, written by Gary Thomas, presses down on so many areas of my life. Each time I pick up the book I am reminded of my calling as a wife and the true intention of marriage.
The running theme through the book is "marriage is not about my happiness but about my call to holiness." The idea that Brandon cannot and will not make me happy goes against everything that society screams. I have often heard people going through a separation or divorce say "I just wasn't happy anymore" or "we just fell out of love." Brandon is not the source of my joy, but rather a wonderful bonus to what I have in the Lord. When I stop putting the expectation on Brandon to make me happy it stops making him an idol in my life.
I, self-admittedly, need a lot of affirmation. It is one of my biggest struggles, and I get bent when I don't receive the praise I think I deserve. When the Lord revealed to me the depth of my depravity and the extent of my selfishness I crumbled. This is another pressure I often put on Brandon, but I find when I am seeking and spending time with God that I am driven to serve my family regardless of the praise I do or do not receive.
I am attempting to learn to get Brandon off of the pedestal I have him on. When I start to allow his actions or words, whether positive or negative, to effect my actions or speech I lose sight of who I am in Christ. Like all couples, Brandon and I have had our ups and downs but I can't lose sight that our marriage is meant to bring God glory.