Scattered
Itinerant

The past two months have been a roller coaster for me. Some days were spent laying on the floor attempting to play with my kids, and others were spent cleaning my house in a manic state. My emotions would zig-zag between depressed, irritated and anxious. I really began to think I was going crazy.

January 3rd I went to an appointment with our family practitioner. I have a family history of thyroid problems, and I was also going to express my concern about postpartum depression. As I began to list off my many symptoms, my CNP assured me that it did in fact sound like my thyroid. I got on the examination table, and she found my thyroid to be quite enlarged (a goiter). She drew my blood, and discussed that we may be looking at Hashimoto's Disease.

The drive home from Denton gave me plenty of time to think about the many things I would be researching when I got home. The internet can be a scary place, but I navigated my way around and educated myself on the different possibilities for my goiter. We spent a lot of time praying, and looking into holistic ways to treat a thyroid imbalance.

I began to dump vitamins down my throat. Extra cod liver oil (I was also extremely deficient in vitamin D), minerals, magnesium, vitamin E, a thyroid support, and adrenal support all worked their way into my vitamin regimen. Brazil nuts, high in selenium, also became a twice-a-day staple in my diet. I bid good-bye to gluten and sugar in my diet.

I finally got into to see a reputable endocrinologist this week, and he agreed that my numbers were peculiar and that there was in fact a goiter. He asked me to come back the next day and have an ultrasound of the goiter. The tech did the sonogram and sent me on my way.

Today I received the call that my thyroid has no abnormal nodules, and I'm cleared from any chance of thyroid cancer. Brandon and I let out a big sigh of relief. The doctor wants me to take Armour (dissected porcine thyroid) to see if my symptoms are reduced and if the goiter disappears.

I thank God that I have my answer. While the births of my children have been joyous, the postpartum struggles have casted a shadow over our experiences. I have lost weight very quickly, and then gained it all back. My emotions have been all over the board, and the "brain fog" leaves me feeling like I delivered part of my brain with the placenta.


Some more information for those that suspect thyroid issues:


Stop The Thyroid Madness

Postpartum Thyroiditits

I started Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred today. I did Level 1/Day 1 about 2 hours ago, my legs stopped shaking 1 hour ago, and the soreness set in about 10 minutes ago. Tomorrow is not going to be pretty. I did Making The Cut last Fall, before I got pregnant with Selah, and it helped a lot with my running times and fitness goals. We'll see what 30 Day Shred does - I'll keep this post updated as I go along.

I have been looking forward to tonight for the last 7 weeks. When I woke up this morning and realized that today was "the" day I was ecstatic. I thought about what I would wear, and how much I would enjoy it after such a long break. The clock would not move fast enough, and I did my best prepare. As I slipped on the appropriate attire and fixed my hair I wondered how it would go. Would it be painful? Would the speed and intensity be too much? How would I respond?

30 minutes. 30 minutes of rapid heart beats, exhausted lungs, and a tired lower body. Exhilarating and mind blowing. I totally forgot how enjoyable running was.

Thanksgiving Day 2007 was a day I never would have expected. Brandon and I woke up unusually early to get our family ready and out of the door by 7 a.m.

Brandon and I loaded up our kids and headed to Downtown Dallas:











The day before Thanksgiving I found myself registering for an 8 mile race. In June I couldn't run 45 seconds straight, and the day where I would normally only be focusing on gorging myself I was preparing to run with 28,000 people in 40 degree weather.

The gun went off and the crowd inched forward. I took it easy and enjoyed the scenery of running the streets of Dallas. People chatted and tried to stay warm. Soon the chatter dwindled and the heavier breathing picked up. I slowly started to find holes in the crowd and advance. I was encouraged the first 3 miles, but when I saw I had only reached mile 4 I found myself growing weary. The crowd cheered when we met the mile marker. Strength in numbers.

I zoned out miles 5 and 6 and just enjoyed breath after breath. Then I saw what I was sure would hault my pace. A bridge. A bridge that arched over the Trinity river, and we had to run up the bridge. I grew discouraged but kept running. If I could give birth to two children naturally I could run up a bridge. My legs ached, my lungs burned, and my adreniline rushed. I longed to rest.

Praise began to escape from my heart. I began to thank God for an able body, legs that would carry me, and strong lungs. My heart overflowed with gratitude for my Creator. Suddenly I knew I could make it. My legs moved faster, my pace picked up and it was me and the hill.

I saw the 7 mile marker in the distance and could not believe that I was nearing the end. The crowd I was running with began to clap and cheer eachother on. "One more mile" and "we're in the home stretch" echoed throughout the crowd. As I quickened my cadence I shortened my breath.

The finish line drew closer and closer and my eyes began to dart. Could he see me? Would the boys know what to watch for? Where were they? Then I saw the clock. Everything else faded as I inhaled deeply and darted for the line.

I finished. Completed something I started. I ran my first race.

My official time was 1 hour 16 minutes and 14 seconds. I ran a 9:32/mile pace!

My Encouragement!

Sunday morning I woke up feeling terrible. The first 15 minutes I excused it as a hang-over until I realized that a glass of wine and 1 Cuba Libre would not leave me feeling the way I did. As the day progressed I felt more and more sick. I couldn't walk, sit, stand, or lay down without feel like I was going to pass out or throw up. My throat hurt, my neck ached, and I was wearing two shirts and a sweater on an 85 degree day.

Monday I was worse. I couldn't function and it hurt to breathe. I finally took a look at my throat and it was solid white. Strep throat. The enemy from my childhood. Swigs of wretched bubble gum flavored medicine and gargles of salt water. Not wanting to pay for an office visit, and absolutely not wanting to go on the antibiotics that most docs swear you have to go on to overcome Strep I turned to my holistic ways.

So the journey began. Clove after clove of garlic. Yes, I began to chew and swallow whole cloves of garlic every four hours. Less than 24 hours later my throat was back to normal and I'm feeling great.

I told my mother-in-law of my discovery and she laughed. Apparently her father would gnaw on garlic as his source of antibiotics. I love the way the "old world medicine" works. I'm not against modern medicine, but if you can find a holistic approach then why not? The immune system can build up an immunity to antibiotics but not garlic, hmmmm....

Here are some links:

http://www.garlic-central.com/antibiotic.html

http://pubs.acs.org/subscribe/journals/mdd/v05/i04/html/04news4.html

http://www.nutraingredients.com/news/ng.asp?id=48740-garlic-compound-beats

Sweat rolls down her back and she knows she can. Just a little farther, a little faster, a little harder. Her body graciously moves as her breathing becomes heavy. This is about her and not crowds cheering her on or the approval of man. Better than yesterday but not nearly as good as tomorrow. Endurance, perseverance, pushing oneself to a breaking point all to beat a number. Aching legs and forgotten sorrows she carries on. Her body slows. Doubt rolls in. What she has been running from mile after mile is catching up. Not today. She won't quit. Neck and neck with her own self-doubt she pulls ahead remembering when in fact she couldn't. Her face lights up and her stride widens. Long, lean, muscular legs flex their way to the finish line. Sprinting her last lap she learns what it is to suck air. "Push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push... Done!" 30 seconds faster 48.5 minutes longer then when she first began.

"Yes, ma'am there are some real runners up here today."

I am riding out the aftermath of an all night birth, and made a profound discovery in the midst of my exhaustion. I'm a hypocrite when it comes to my health. I encourage, coach, and provide women with the tools to take charge of their birth experiences but I am not taking care of my health.

Brandon and I have been eating organic and an overall decent diet for a few months now but it's not enough. I must decide that I want to be responsible for my well-being, the leading expert on my body's needs, and focused on using what God has given me to glorify Him. I cannot put my health off, or be naive enough to believe I'm doing enough. It is time for me to grow up and realize the beauty of stewarding my body.

I am against chemicals and pharmaceuticals but cave into my cravings for sugar. My mind grasps the importance of a healthy lifestyle; yet, my emotions give way to the temptations of food. If I lack discipline in the little things I will lack discipline in the greater things.

I may not be so passionate about this after I get some sleep so if you read this nudge me as a reminder.